Ichabutt’s Tail, part 4: New Purpose

Yesterday’s story snippet involved a tragic event. We learned how Ichabutt’s great uncle Ichabob met an untimely demise after a piece of farming equipment fell on top of him. Sometimes, however, misfortune and fortune are intertwined.

Such was the case in this instance, for as fortune frowned upon Ichabob, it smiled upon his great nephew Ichabutt. The day after Ichabob was laid to rest at Sleepy Graves Cemetery, his lawyer paid a visit to Ichabutt’s house. There he informed the young man that his great uncle had left him his farm in his will.

As you can imagine, this unexpected turn of events changed Ichabutt’s life immediately. The death of his great uncle gave him a new life. Ichabutt wasted no time in packing his few belongings and moving out of his parents’ house to Ichabob’s farm.

Finally free from the cruelty and humiliation that his parents had dealt him on a daily basis all his life, Ichabutt flourished. He had been at the rock bottom of his life since dropping out of high school, but now he climbed steadily out of that pit by pouring himself into his new farm.

Ichabutt checked out every book on farming available at the Sleepy Hollow library. He determined to learn all that he could about how to raise crops, so that he would be ready to work his fields as soon as spring arrived. When his eyes glazed over from reading, he would go out and simply walk in his fields, simply marveling that they were his fields.

*this tale in hibernation till next Halloween

Thank you for reading!

Ichabutt’s Tail, part 3: The Death of Ichabob

When we paused the story yesterday, Ichabutt’s life was spiraling out of control. He had dropped out of high school and was leading a reckless lifestyle, including stealing more pickled eggs than ever. Just when his life threatened to fall apart, though, fortune turned his way. Alas, in turning toward him, fortune turned against another.

Ichabutt had a great uncle named Ichabob. He was a farmer, as well as an elbowless horseman. One day Ichabob was in his barn working on a piece of farming equipment. His horse stood nearby, munching on some hay. The horse grabbed a mouthful of hay, and in so doing uncovered a mouse, who squeaked in surprise.

The mouse startled Ichabob’s horse so much that she leaped backwards. She knocked over the farming equipment that Ichabob was repairing, and it fell onto his chest, pinning him to the ground with his arms at his sides.

Now, the equipment that fell on Ichabob was not all that heavy. Any average, elbowed adult would have been able to reach up and bench press it off of them. Because of his lack of elbows, though, Ichabob could not escape in such a way.

So he lay there on the barn’s dirt floor for days on end as his life slowly drained away. To add insult to his injury, Ichabob loved Halloween, as most people in Sleepy Hollow did. His most prized Halloween decoration hung in his barn. It was a wind chime made up of a real human skeleton that he had come across while plowing his field one spring.

As Ichabob lay dying, the wind chime hung directly in his line of sight. It was October when this happened, and the chilled autumn air rushed through the open barn door, causing the skeleton to rattle almost constantly.

During his long, agonizing entrapment, Ichabob spent hour after bleak hour staring at the skeleton. Even at night he could see it shaking in the moonlight. Most of all, Ichabob’s gaze fell upon the skeleton’s elbow joints as they creaked back and forth, an ever present reminder of the body parts that could have saved him.

to be continued…

Thank you for reading!

The Tail of Ichabutt, part 2

When we left off yesterday, a teenaged Ichabutt had just got busted for pilfering a pickled egg from the Sleepy Stop, a convenience store in Sleepy Hollow.   A few days later, he had to appear in court for his offense. Unfortunately for him, the judge assigned to his case was a grumpy fellow who hated teenagers. He gave Ichabutt a severe punishment, sentencing the young man to use a wooden saddle on his horse for the rest of his life.

Soon after that, Ichabutt dropped out of Hollow High School, unable to bear any longer the teasing and the bullying that plagued him constantly. Just as bad, he found no refuge at home, for Ichabutt’s parents were icky butts, to put it nicely.

After leaving school, Ichabutt spent more and more time riding his horse, a painful endeavor now that he had to use a hard wooden saddle under his uncushioned tailbone. His behavior became more and more reckless as well. In fact, Ichabutt would surely have ended up in jail or in an early grave were it not for someone else who did end up in a grave at just the right time.

to be continued tomorrow…

The Tail of the Buttless Horseman

Sleepy Hollow is a quaint little town made famous by one of its residents, a noggin-challenged horse rider. How this man ever got his riding license when he obviously can’t see where he’s going is not for me to speculate upon. My job here is to tell about another of Sleepy Hollow’s citizens.

Another horseman, in fact. That doesn’t narrow it down much, though, as most of the population of Sleepy Hollow is made up of horsemen, horsewomen, and horsechildren. You would recognize this particular man, though, if you saw him. That is, if you saw him from behind, for he had no bottom.

He lost it in a freak playground accident at a very young age. To make matters worse, his parents had named him Ichabutt. Of course, that is not the best name to have under any circumstances, but especially if you are doomed to a bottomless existence.

Growing up in Sleepy Hollow, little Ichabutt had a rough go of it. The other kids at school teased him relentlessly about his missing bottom. As a result, he withdrew from everyone and spent all his free time riding his horse (equipped with an extra-cushioned saddle) along the many trails in the woods surrounding town.

By the time he reached his teenage years, Ichabutt had become an angry young man with a disdain for rules of all types. One of his favorite rebellious acts was shoplifting snacks from convenience stores to take along on his horse rides. Eventually, though, his luck ran out, and he got caught stealing a pickled egg from the Sleepy Stop.

to be continued tomorrow…